Drone Man Told The Nation

"Lyndon Johnson told the nation
Have no fear of escalation
I'm trying everyone to please.
Though it isn't really war,
We're sending fifty thousand more
To help save Vietnam from Vietnamese."

- Lyndon Johnson Told The Nation, Tom Paxton, 1965.

When, eleven years ago, the United States invaded Iraq, I went through a bad phase in my life.

I have written elsewhere of how hate-filled I was for a period of about three years, how I really believed that “the only good American is a dead one”, and how I cheered the death or maiming of every single American soldier, Marine or other “war criminal” in Iraq. I have talked about how, over a long period, I finally managed to purge myself of the hate.

But the anger never went away, and never will – the anger I felt against the United States, for wilfully destroying a nation which was ancient when the ancestors of Americans were still massacring Native Americans to steal their lands from them, which was ancient when those ancestors stole black men and women from Africa to bring back to use as self-replicating farm machinery.

I still believe that anger legitimate. The United States can never be forgiven for its destruction of Iraq. However long it exists, it has forever put itself beyond the purview of civilised society by that. Its otherwise impressive list of crimes – from the Mexican War to Nagasaki and from Korea to Vietnam and Kosovo – were none of them quite as cynical, as evil, as the prolonged and still not ended destruction of the ancient land of Mesopotamia.

Still not ended? Why, of course the destruction of Iraq is not ended. As we all know, the so-called Islamic State of Iraq and Sham (ISIS) is “sweeping through Iraq" and is “threatening Baghdad”.

So?

So quite a lot.

This ISIS used to be called Al Qaeda in Mesopotamia, and later Al Qaeda in Iraq. It was an official Al Qaeda franchise, being granted its licence by Osama bin Laden, no less. It first appeared in Iraq circa 2004, at a time when the American occupation was reeling from constant attacks by the resistance (both Sunni and, significantly, Shia). And instead of attacking its alleged enemies, the occupation, it immediately provoked (by means of car bombs and the like) a vicious Shia-Sunni fratricidal war which left the occupation virtually unopposed in comparison with what had gone before.

I may mention that I have called Al Qaeda “Satan’s Little Helpers” for obvious reasons.

Now, as we also know, the current government of Iraq isn’t exactly composed of good people. In fact they are very nasty people, led by a former militia commander, Nuri al-Maliki; but they haven’t exactly been in power since yesterday. In fact they took power long, long ago, during the American occupation, and helped destroy Iraq by cooperating with the Empire against the people of the country.

In other words, they were the Vichy Iraqis.

My friend Ramzy Baroud has written an excellent article in which he emphasises that the United States must not be allowed to meddle in Iraq again, because the current situation is its fault.

He doesn't say what I believe, though, that the "crisis" in Iraq was a deliberate ploy to force Maliki to hand over power to a more compliant regime, which would follow American diktats towards Syria and Iran. 

Candidates are already lining up, and, obviously, they’re vying for the opportunity to be loyal to the US. At least for now.

Now, I’ll say this right out in the open – ISIS is an American tool. It has been trained by the US, funded by Saudi Arabia, and Turkey allows the group to use its territory to treat their wounded fighters and to hold meetings. Both Turkey and Saudi Arabia are BFFs of the American Empire, and that is no secret to anyone.

There is a lot of talk on the net about how ISIS was “expelled from al Qaeda because it was too brutal”, but that is rubbish. ISIS is no more brutal than the official Al Qaeda franchise in Syria, Jabhat al Nusra. In fact, ISIS helped set up Jabhat al Nusra, and, unlike the latter, hasn’t been known to play football with the heads of those people it has decapitated. But Ayman al Zawahiri, current head of Al Qaeda, ordered ISIS to stick to Iraq and let JaN operate in Syria.

ISIS didn’t see why it should give up the income from all those Eastern Syrian oil wells...

That is the essence of the split between al Qaeda and ISIS - money. ISIS, in fact, is quite savvy about money; it's the first terrorist group in history to create a brochure detailing its "accomplishments", intended to attract investors.

Now, a few days ago, ISIS – in alliance with other Sunni militias, including the Baath Party of Saddam Hussein – launched an offensive in Northern Iraq, which swiftly overwhelmed the incompetent, American trained and funded, New Iraqi Army. It was basically a “sucker punch” – a blow struck when your opponent isn’t looking. The sucker punch works wonders – but only if your opponent doesn’t get right back up again. If he does, you’d better hope you’re bigger and stronger.

The ISIS and its allies were neither bigger nor stronger, and they are about to be taught a painful lesson.

But what’s interesting is what happened on the sidelines.

As soon as ISIS hit Iraq with its sucker punch, America demanded Maliki "share power" with the Sunnis, that is, hand over a substantial section of power to those who are his enemies. All at once, the internet filled with tales of how he was responsible for the problem in Iraq due to his sectarian bias against the Sunnis. So where was all this outrage when Maliki was Washington's puppet in Baghdad, when his death squads were ethnically cleansing (to borrow a term) the Sunni from mixed neighbourhoods in Iraq, when he was hanging Saddam Hussein after a farcical show trial, and so on? During all this time, the US was in occupation, and there was not a chirp out of it.

Like many a US puppet in the past, Maliki has passed his sell-by date. He had actually passed it back in 2011 when he refused to extend the American occupation further. He had added insult to that injury when he had refused to join in the American-mandated isolation of Bashar al-Assad of Syria. It was hardly a coincidence that it was only after that that ISIS suddenly began its campaign of car bombs and attacks.

Maliki had committed an act of lese-majeste, and he had to be taught a lesson.

When Maliki refused to hand over power, Killary Klingon (who I am convinced has been preselected to be the next American president) et al demanded his replacement and are still demanding it. Meanwhile, there are two significant events: the Iraqi army has got off the floor, and with the help of Shia militia, is now actually fighting back and has regained ground from ISIS. And, the Baathist militias – secularist and nationalist – are already fighting against their “ally”, ISIS, in Mosul. You won't find mention of that on major news sources unless you look with a microscope, though. The fiction has to be preserved that only Western intervention can save Iraq. Whatever has to be done, Iraqis can’t be left to take care of their own futures. Any claim that this should be done has to be ignored.

Once - and it's inevitable - Iraq beats back ISIS from Mosul, Maliki will come into conflict with the Kurds who have taken advantage of the opportunity to capture Kirkuk. The Kurds have long wanted control of Kirkuk, though with its mixed Arab-Turkmen-Kurdish population it has always resisted incorporation in the de facto Kurdistan. Now that the Kurds have taken it, though, they will never let it go.

Let me say this now: these are the rationales behind this ISIS “offensive” (which I believe is controlled by the United States) in Northern Iraq:

First, to force Maliki to hand over power to a government more amenable to American interests, especially as they pertain to Iran and Syria;

Second, to establish a formal, and enlarged, Kurdistan. This Kurdistan would encompass both Kurdish areas of Iraq and Syria, and – like Kosovo – would be beholden to the Empire. Turkey would in turn be kept in line by the threat of having its own Kurdish areas sliced away. So Kurdistan would be an important American outpost in northern Iraq and Syria, right next to some of the most sensitive areas in the world, and floating on oil besides. Now that the Zionist entity is becoming an increasingly fascist and indefensible "ally", the Empire needs another outpost in West Asia, after all.

Third, to achieve a split of the rest of Iraq into Sunni and Shia areas, something the non-ISIS Sunni militias are already demanding – and something which would have been anathema to the nationalist Saddam Hussein. Obviously, a balkanised Iraq would be more easily controlled by the Empire. Look at the former Yugoslavia for an example.

Fourth, and this is something Obama is already talking about, air strikes in Syria. No sane person will believe that they will be restricted to the ISIS there. The primary target will be the (increasingly victorious) Syrian government and army.

There was just one problem. Al-Maliki didn’t panic as expected, and did not quit.

Assuming Maliki manages to ride out the current storm, he will, as I said, come into conflict with the Kurds when he orders them to vacate Kirkuk. What happens then?

Easy. He will be abruptly turned into the Threat Of The Week by America, and war drums will start beating against him. ISIS will morph into the "good guys" (like Jabhat al Nusra in Syria) and get covert and then overt aid and support. The aim will be to make the Iraq war as permanent as possible. Like Syria.

Meanwhile in India:

I read this hilarious article which claims ISIS is a "threat" to India because it allegedly issued a map showing Modi's home state of Gujarat as part of its designs. Ooh, a map! Should I shake in my shoes now? I wonder if this will be made a reason to introduce (yet another) "harsh anti-terror law" designed of course to be used against minorities only? There have been two former “tough” anti-terror laws, TADA and POTA, which the Hindunazis had used against Muslims when they had been in power. Those laws had lovely provisions, such as confessions under torture being admissible evidence, and the burden of proof of innocence being on the accused. They lapsed under Congress regimes, but is it time to bring a new version in under the guise of protection from ISIS?

I should not be surprised.

It’s not usual that I write a long intro like this for Raghead, but I felt it necessary to explain why this is. I need to explain my anger, my reading of the circumstances, and also – and I feel this is important – to explain the panels.

The first panel is obvious. I have never attempted to hide my contempt for Nobel Peace Prizident and blood-soaked war criminal Barack Obama.

As far as the second goes, I chose three different scenes: from left, Colin Powell, lying his head off in the UN on Saddam Hussein’s nonexistent WMD programme. I don’t know if Powell has a conscience, but I would be happy if it does not let him sleep at night. In the middle, I chose a scene of “shock and awe”: Bush’s bombers exploding their ordnance on the banks of the Tigris. On the right I chose, for contrast, the entirely manufactured “triumph” of American troops pulling down Saddam Hussein’s statue in Firdous square.

In the third panel, I chose the two instruments the Obama criminal regime is going to use in its reoccupation of Iraq; on the one hand, the entirely cooked up ISIS “advance”; and, on the other, its stand-off military forces, which I symbolised by a drone. Of course, many ISIS will die, but they would have been exterminated anyway. Once the jihadists have served their purpose, from Afghanistan to Libya, America has always cheerfully thrown them to the wolves; why should ISIS be any different?

Panel Four may look as though it speaks for itself, but actually I thought about it a long time. I finally chose this image because the anonymous Abu Ghraib detainee's torment so clearly expresses the torture Iraq has been suffering for decades now – cynically imposed suffering which the people have never deserved. 

A final word about the title. I was hesitating between “Nobel Prizident” and “Drone Man”. Both would do, but I could not choose one over the other. I finally decided on Nobel Prizident for the artwork and Drone Man for the title.

So, here’s the cartoon itself, with absolutely no apologies if I hurt anyone; the Iraqis have been hurt worse than you.

No, I have not forgotten, I have not forgiven, and I will neither forget nor forgive.

Copyright B Purkayastha 2014

Raghead: Murder in Mesopotamia

Copyright B Purkayastha 2014

The Prophet Motive

Once upon a time, in the world of Eyelashes and Sebaceous Glands, there was a mite named Dex.

Dex lived in the follicle of the third eyelash from the left, and for the first several days of his life there was nothing special about him. He ate sebaceous oil and tissue debris like the other mites, and at night he crawled out on to the skin to meet his girlfriend Folli, who lived in the next but one eyelash down.

Then, one day, just after swallowing a particularly tasty drop of mascara-flavoured sebaceous oil, Dex had a revelation. “Why,” he thought to himself, amazed, “how is it that I never thought of it before?”

Hard on the heels of that came a second revelation. “Some higher power must have put this into my head.”

And following that, he had a third revelation. “I must immediately tell all the others all this! They need to know.”

So that night, when all the mites came crawling out of their eyelash follicles to meet their significant others and so on, Dex, instead of crawling all over Folli, as usual, raised himself on the stubs of his legs and shouted, “Everyone, listen to me!”

All the mites left off their talking and fornicating and turned to him with surprise. “What is it, Dex?” Folli asked.

“Have any of you,” Dex said to all the mites, “ever wondered just why we are here?”

The mites looked at each other, or would have if they had possessed eyes. “Why,” one ventured, “to eat oil and dead skin cells and to reproduce, of course.”

“Wrong!” Dex thundered. “Have you ever spent a moment wondering why we are fortunate enough to live in a world where we have cosy hair follicles to inhabit, boyfriends and girlfriends to breed with, and as much sebaceous oil and tissue debris to eat as we would ever want?”

The mites murmured in astonishment. “Well, now that you mention it,” one said, “it is very strange. But what of it?”

“There is only one explanation,” Dex announced. “We live in this ideal world, where we have all we need, because it has been made for us by a divine Creator. He has given us all this, perfectly suited for our requirements. How, otherwise, could we ever have had all this?”

The mites murmured with astonishment again. “But how would this Creator know what we would need?” asked the one who had spoken earlier.

Dex bent an antenna stub towards him in acknowledgement. “He would only know if He had created us, too, of course,” he said. “And because He created this world of eyelashes, oil and debris, all for us, He must love us most dearly. This was all revealed to me, in the first of three Revelations.”

But Folli waggled her antennae at Dex doubtfully. “How do you know all this?” she asked. “How do we know you aren’t just making it up?”

“I could have known none of this,” Dex told her, “if I had not been chosen by Him as His Prophet and Spokesmite. How many untold numbers of generations of Mitedom have lived here, after all, and not one of them have realised it? How could I have known any of this unless I was privileged to be His Prophet? That was my second Revelation, by His divine grace.”

The mites murmured again. “He’s right,” said the one from the audience who had spoken earlier. “He is the chosen Prophet of the Creator.”

“But what is this Creator like?” others asked.

“That will be perhaps Revealed to me someday,” Dex replied. “All I can say is that the third Revelation I have been entrusted with is this: that we must not only be aware of the Creator, but must praise Him for His kindness to us, and His granting us so many blessings, in so many ways.”

“If this is so,” the assembled mites said, “we must at once set to making Him happy, by word and deed.”

Only Folli, however, remained sceptical. “There’s absolutely no proof of anything you’ve been saying,” she said. “There’s absolutely no need to believe in any of this without some evidence.”

But the assembled mites shouted her down. “Heresy!” they shouted. “She is denying the existence of the Creator and His Revelations.”

“I am doing no such thing,” Folli protested. “I am merely stating that there is no reason to accept everything Dex says without question and without evidence. After all, I myself know how unreliable he is, and how wild his imagination.”

“What other reason can you suggest, Folli,” Dex asked smugly, “but a divine Creator, for us finding ourselves in a world so perfectly suited for us? Can you think of anything? I am sure you can’t.”

“Of course I can,” Folli retorted. “Let’s say, for instance, we came to this world from elsewhere and, um, changed to suit ourselves to the conditions, so that we adapted to them, not they to us.”

“That is rubbish,” Dex said firmly. “How could we change? Have you ever seen anyone changing?”

“What further need is there to change,” Folli replied, “when we have already changed enough to fit ourselves to the world we see?”

“And where could we have come from? This is all the world there is, Folli. This is the Universe the Creator made.”

“Or, rather, this is all the universe we know of. How can we tell if there is nowhere else?”

“Can you provide proof of this ‘elsewhere’ you imply exists?” Dex asked, with a smirk.

“No. Can you provide proof of your Creator or these Revelations of yours?”

“Heresy!” some of the mites howled. “She is insulting the Prophet Dex himself!”

“Expel her!” the rest of the mites shrieked. “Throw her out!”

So poor Folli had to crawl away. By great good fortune she managed to make her way over the Bridge of the Nose and to the Other Eye, where she found a home in the second eyelash from the bottom right, and eventually another mite to love her and help her make babies. But enough about her!

Meanwhile...

Back near the third eyelash from the left, a serious schism had developed.

“If the Creator loves us so much,” one school of thought had decided, “He must have created us to be just like Him. Therefore He must be a Great Mite, perhaps living in the Eyeball.”

“We must therefore worship Him in His image, as a mite like us,” others of this school of thought said.

“Rubbish,” others snapped. “How could a divine Creator be restricted to the form of a mere mite? Surely He hath ten or twelve legs, not just eight, and a pair of long antennae besides.”

“You are both wrong,” another group of mites said. “He has no form or shape, because having a form or shape would degrade Him and restrict His abilities. He is formless and intangible, and yet all powerful.”

“There is no point talking with these stupid mites,” the first mite said to his companion. “Let us therefore go and build a temple to the Great Mite, and worship Him with gifts of oil and debris.”

“Oil and debris?” the second mite asked. “Are you insane? The Great Mite needs and deserves better than mere oil and debris. Nothing less than the sacrifice of our own hearts and souls will suffice for Him.”

“You are both wrong,” said a third mite, who was listening. “The Great Mite can procure all the oil, debris and souls He may want for Himself. You must busy yourselves in studying His essential nature, and in fasting and prayer.”

“Let us go to the Holy Prophet Dex with our question,” the mites decided. So they went to the third eyelash to ask his opinion.

But the Holy Prophet Dex would not give an opinion. Chewing on a drop of mascara-flavoured oil, he listened to them and said that he would have to wait for a Revelation.

Then the mites fell to squabbling among themselves, for they could not wait for a Revelation to make up their minds. And they squabbled so much that in time they spent less and less time eating oil and skin cells, and grew thin and weakly. But the thinner and more emaciated they grew, the brighter the flame of their discord grew.

“I have suffered for my faith more than you,” each said to the other. “Ask the Prophet Dex if you don’t believe me.”

The Prophet Dex nodded his head, and did not answer. There was no way he could have answered anyway. His mouth was too full.

While his acolytes fought busily among themselves, he moved from eyelash to eyelash, eating all the oil and debris from them, one by one.

Copyright B Purkayastha 2014 

Three Points On Ukraine

Note: I realise I’ve already said all this on Raghead, which nowadays serves the purpose of both satire and political comment, but it went over like a lead balloon with readers. Apparently one has to say things out loud and clear.

So let me make three points on Ukraine.

1      1.   There are Nazis in Ukraine.

To anyone with half a brain, this is more than obvious. The entire western Ukraine, based around Lvov, which was Polish territory between the wars is a Nazi hotbed. Western media – such as Britain’s Channel 4 – even admitted during the (bought and paid for) Euromaidan “protests” that the “protestors” included open Nazis. However, afterwards, they suddenly fell silent on that point and till today have stayed stubbornly silent.

Are there Nazis in Ukraine?

They act like Nazis, openly identify with Nazis, use Nazi symbols and slogans, and venerate people who actually fought in SS divisions created by the Nazis. I mean, they do all that, but still according to the official Western mythology they are not Nazis.

Here are some of these non-Nazis:

Now, these Nazis/non-Nazis are not just in the streets – they are also in the illegitimate putschist “government” of Ukraine, holding on to key positions. Among these are(check the link below for the positions they hold):

Andriy Parubiy (Андрій Парубій), Dmytro Yarosh (Дмитро Ярош), Oleksandr Sych (Александр Сыч), Ihor Shvaika (Игорь Швайка), Dmytro Boulatov (Дмитрий Булатов), Oleh Makhnitsky (Олег Махницкий) and Tetiana Tchornovol (Татьяна Черновол) ^[Source]

The existence of these Nazis is something the West would love to deny, just as it kept denying the existence of jihadists in Syria, and for the same reason: the jihadists, and the Nazis, are the allies of the moment.

But their actions underline the fact that they are well aware of the existence of the Nazis; for instance, they advised the Nazis to tone down their Nazism and lay off the swastikas and slogans.

Not too surprisingly, the Nazis ignored it.

       2.  The putschist “government” of Ukraine and its EU controllers hate and fear the Nazis.

This seems to be a strange thing to say, seeing that key posts in the “government” are occupied by the Nazis, and the openly Nazi Pravii Sektor are the storm troops of the selfsame “government” in Eastern Ukraine since the army is neither willing nor capable of handling the job of fighting the separatist militias. But the facts are clear.

The Nazis, like all Nazis, are not just racists but, very significantly, ultra-nationalists. As such, they will never, ever, accept domination by the European Union, the American Empire, and its assorted hangers-on like Canada and Australia. The purpose of the putsch in Kiev, we should remember, was twofold – for the EU to control the Ukrainian economy, and for the Americans to control Ukraine as a military base. The Nazis would, of course, accept neither.

For the EUthanasia Project for Ukraine, the Nazis are just as much an obstacle as the Russians, and the EU and their oligarchs (known as the EUgarchy for convenience from this point on in this article) know it well.

The Nazis didn’t even make any attempt to hide the fact that the alliance was merely a marriage of convenience:

“The participation of Ukrainian nationalism and Svoboda in the process of EU [European Union] integration,” admits Svoboda political council member Yury Noyevy, “is a means to break our ties with Russia.” ^[Source]

The Nazi-EU-US alliance of convenience at the time of Euromaidan fell apart almost immediately afterwards, when the Pravii Sektor’s Number Two, war criminal Oleksandr Muzychko, was shot by the “government’s” police, allegedly while “resisting arrest”. In other words, the putschists were already beginning to fight among themselves over the spoils.

If the uprising in Eastern Ukraine – led by ethnic Russians who are, justifiably, alarmed at the prospect of being ruled by either Nazis or EUgarchs with their “austerity measures”, or a combination of both – had not happened, by now, Western Ukraine would have been openly in civil war against itself; the rudiments of the state versus the Nazis. Instead, the Pravii Sektor and other Nazi organisations were diverted into the so-called National Guard, and sent off to fight the hated ethnic Russians ("Moskals") in Eastern Ukraine. If and when the Eastern Ukraine crisis ends, in whatever form, the Nazis and the EUgarchy will immediately be at each other’s throats again.

In fact, as far as the EUgarchs are concerned, the war in Eastern Ukraine, no matter how badly it goes, is a godsend.

 - It keeps the Nazis busy.

- It keeps the population in west and central Ukraine docile, with the “threat” of an external enemy (Russia) serving to keep them from questioning the actions of their masters.

 - It keeps their American and EU paymasters sending more billions in “aid”, which can be siphoned off without questions being asked and

- By creating an “us-versus-them” mindset, it improves their chances of polarising votes to win future elections in a rump Ukraine.

But the war can’t go on forever, and there’s no denying that the Nazis aren’t doing too well against the motivated Eastern Ukrainian “separatists” (who should really be called “federalists”, since they started off demanding autonomy in a federal Ukraine with rights to decide their own economic future, not independence). The resistance is shooting Nazi planes out of the sky like clay pigeons with captured MANPADS, the Nazi assaults against the cities aren’t exactly going to schedule, and there will be a point reached when they will realise what’s happening, turn round in their tracks, and march back on Kiev. That point is dangerously close. In fact, it's already beginning.

Only one thing can stop that from happening: Russia.

Which brings us to our third point:

      3.   The EUgarchs and the Empire are desperately attempting to provoke a Russian invasion of Ukraine.

This is again something that would seem, on the surface, totally counter-intuitive, but it’s obvious when one thinks about it. As I said, the EUgarchs hate and fear the Nazis, and know that they can’t control them. If and when a showdown comes, the Nazis are at least as powerful as the rump Ukrainian state. This same rump Ukraine also knows something very well: it can’t, ever, control the majority Russian areas of the country for any time at all. The ethnic Russians will never, ever, accept Ukrainian and EU domination. It will be a permanent drain of effort and resources to keep them under control, and even if the EUgarchs manage to occupy it, a low level guerrilla campaign lasting years is the least to be expected.  

Then there is the fact that in the post-Soviet era, Eastern Ukraine has mostly turned into a rust belt. The factories are obsolete, the coal mines are worked out, the population largely poverty-stricken. To make the area profitable for exploitation – meaning to make money for the oligarchs – will take an enormous amount of funds and effort, quite apart from the resistance of the locals.

Resistance fighters - anti-Nazis and anti-Empire

Seen in that light, what good would a Russian invasion do for the EUgarchy?

- It would start by wiping out the Nazis. They could never put up any effective fight against the Russian army, and would be faced with a choice. They could either be killed and/or surrender, or they could withdraw in defeat to Western Ukraine. The first choice would destroy them. The second choice would destroy their credibility beyond recovery. “Patriotic ultra-nationalists” who turn tail and run don’t retain any cred. Either way, the Nazis would be as good as finished, and leave the field open for the EUgarchs. Yes, I am saying that the Nazis are being set up by the EUgarchs, and if they’re too stupid to see that yet, that’s not too surprising. After all, they’re Nazis.

- It would also take the problems of the rust belt off the EUgarchs’ hands. All the problems, henceforth, from the worked out mines to the corroding factories, the aging population and the crumbling infrastructure, would be Russia’s responsibility. It would be an economic burden nobody wants.

- It would make the EUgarchy’s hold over West-Central Ukraine a permanent one. They could push themselves as the only bulwark against a total Russian takeover of the country, and “do all that was necessary” to protect what was left of the country.  Any and all opposition (which would mount as the rump economy collapses completely under the weight of EU "austerity measures”) could be crushed as traitors to the nation. As we in India well know, a running sore of a territorial dispute works wonders to divert people from the problems of daily life.

- It would make NATO almost incredibly happy. Even if the EUgarch rump didn’t immediately join NATO (it probably would), the rest of the US’ puppets in Central and Eastern Europe would line up either to join or to reaffirm their membership. As we all know, NATO has long since passed its sell-by date, and after the defeat in Afghanistan, its appeal is beginning to wear a bit thin. NATO needs a new Cold War. It needs a new Cold War very badly indeed, and has been attempting desperately to ignite one since at least circa 2008 when Georgia started, and lost, a war with Russia.

Yes, the EUgarchs would love nothing more than a Russian invasion, and are trying to provoke one by all means. So far these have included shelling cities, burning unarmed protestors alive in Odessa, lies  about Russian intervention, and finally, when all else failed, an attack on the Russian embassy in Kiev.

So far Putin has not taken the bait, and I am convinced that he will not take the bait. He has a far better option: to do exactly nothing. And that is what he’s been doing so far to help the uprising in Eastern Ukraine – nothing. Despite all the media rage in Russia, he has kept his head, and will keep it. At most he will keep the pressure up on the EUgarchy, by perhaps quietly supplying missiles to the resistance (just as Obama is now doing openly to the jihadists in Syria while pretending to fight them in Iraq), and economic measures, like asking them to pay for the gas  they're buying. All's fair in love and proxy war.

Militarily, the Nazis can’t keep fighting much longer without, as I said, realising that they’re being set up. When that moment comes, and they recoil on the EUgarchs, the rump Kiev regime, already tottering on the verge of bankruptcy, will collapse in infighting and disorder. Whatever rises from the ruins will have to compromise with Russia, and be at least neutralist. The EU/US managed coup’s failure will be obvious to everyone, and provide a signal lesson to other potential targets of Western-imposed regime change.

If in the meantime, the resistance manages to carve out a South Abkhazia or Transdniestria-style independent entity in Novorussia and/or Donbass, that's fine too from Putin's point of view. He can supply aid without taking responsibility for the problems.

Meanwhile, Russia is now busy converting Crimea’s infrastructure and economy back to Russian standards. It will be a while before the investment begins providing returns – and during that time the last thing that Putin needs is to be saddled with Eastern Ukraine as well.

So, no, despite all the American propaganda and lies, and all the increasingly desperate provocation by the EUgarchy, Russia is not going to invade.

It was a great plan on paper, really: Putin invades, takes the rust belt and its assorted problems, destroys the Nazis, energises NATO, does the EUgarchy’s dirty work for it, and, best of all, ends up with all the blame. But it’s not going to happen.

Fortunately. 

A Nasty Little Story

One day a dragon appeared high on the cliffs above

The beautiful little town of Smoke-on-the-Sea. 

There he crouched, wings flapping, jaws agape.

The terror of such as you or me.

(Oh! He was a terrible dragon

Fierce enough to frighten away 

Even the King's greatest dragon hunters. Even the King's magicians

Saw him and went away, abashed.)

He was a terrible dragon indeed.

This distressing fact much distressed 

The good people of Smoke-on-the-Sea. 

"Will someone not save us," they cried

"From this terrible dragon which crouches

Above us like a message from our mortality?

How will the tourists come, when this dread beast

Sits day and night awake on the cliffs? It will scare them away

And without the tourist trade, the town won't see another day.

"We did all we could," the townsfolk said, with a mournful sigh.

"Prayed for it to leave - prayed to the gods on high. 

We'd have sent it our virgins too, you know

But there are none left, not one

From here to the earth's molten core.

It seems that there's nothing more for us

But to fade away without further fuss."

Up rose Jack the Monster Killer then

Whose shoulders had the strength of a stalwart ten

Tallest of all the heroes living by that distant sea

He lifted an arm thick as a gigantic tree.

"The dragon," he said, "is a poor thing -

I will give the fairest lady of the city

A part of the creature, and to the second-fairest

I'll give her the other wing."

The ladies of the little town gasped with joy

And danced till their feet could dance no more. 

"We'll know now who's the fairest," they cried

"Let's all go down to the shore.

"We'll stand out on the sand

Out there on the beach -

As Jack the Monster Killer does his thing

We'll cling each to each. 

And when he returns we'll cheer

We'll cheer till the sky turns red

With the dawn of tomorrow's sun -

And raise up Jack overhead. 

"And he'll give the fairest one wing

The second will get one too -

And as for the rest, those envious wretches,

Well you know what you can do. 

So let us away to the waiting sands

And cheer the hero, noble, true."

So they went down to that waiting beach

To the waiting beach they went!

And Jack the great Monster Killer

Donned his suit of armour big as a tent. 

Then he trod on the highest cliff

Oh, Jack trod on crags so high!

He looked as though a tower of iron walked

Silhouetted against the darkling sky.

And he strode to the waiting dragon

"Get thee from hence," he said

"Although I'm mostly kind to animals

Flee or I'll strike you dead. 

I'm Jack the Monster Killer

Of whom you may have heard, foul thing -

I've killed the Beanstalk Giant

And tied the moon on a string.

Fly away, abomination, you thing of doom

Get back to the hell that gave you spawn

Or when the sun rises tomorrow, on a stake,

Your head will greet the eastern dawn."

But the dragon was most unimpressed. 

Oh! A jaded beast was he, you should have known

He opened a mouth like a drawbridge

And bit Jack to the bone. 

Then he ate Jack in two bites

(Maybe a third, or maybe not)

For a dragon of that size, you see

Jack wasn't really a terrible lot. 

And then he belched loud and long

For habits bad had he!

And that belch echoed from cliff to broken cliff

And from the sullen sky to the sullen sea. 

(It wasn't really his fault though; he'd been abandoned as a dragon chick and his mother had never been around to teach him manners

She was a bad mother. Bad bad!)

Then the watching townsfolk scratched their heads

And yelled till their faces were mottled red.

But they couldn't think of what to do

Not even till it was time for bed. 

(And if they'd gone to bed they'd have had awful nightmares

Of no tourists and that kind of thing. You know

How those dreams go.)

But then little Billy raised his hand

Little Billy, scruffiest lad in all renown.

"I'll go talk to the dragon," he said. 

"I'll tell him to spare the town.

All you've done is to demand his death

Or his capture, at the least -

But none of you thought a moment

To go and talk to yonder beast."

"Go and be eaten," the townsfolk jeered

And laughed all their faces blue.

"That dragon ate Jack the Monster Killer -

What will he leave of such as you?"

"But if I do chase it off," said Billy boy

"What will you give me, pray tell me please?"

"Not less than your weight in gold" the mayor said

Shaking with laughter and quite at ease. 

For how could a Billy beat a dragon

Let alone a dragon that stood

High above the cliff top there

Like an evil god of stone and wood?

"He'll never collect," they all said

Slapping each other on the back

"And it will be great entertainment to see him eaten -

Enough to make us get over Jack."

All the girls raised haughty faces

At the scamp who was so pert and bold

And swore to each other they'd never heard

So much greed for a mess of gold.

But Billy paid them all no heed.

No heed at all paid he!

And walked along the clifftop path

To the dragon on the scree.

And the waiting people saw

The dragon jump up and scream

Such a shriek as one might howl

In the midst of a terrible dream. 

Then the beast spread mighty wings

And away over the sea he sped! 

Not a trace of him was left behind

On the cliff above the mayor's head. 

So Billy came down again

And asked for the gold he'd earned -

Do you know what they did to him?

Trial for witchcraft and he was burned.

For gold is gold, the mayor said. 

Good coin, and the dragon's fled

And but for sorcery no one could

Chase it away, so he said. 

"I could never suffer such witch to live" he declared

As Billy roasted on his pyre,

"That foul dragon was this witch's pet

I'll be bound, and swear on my sire

If ever such witch comes again

He or she too shall soon be ash

So beware lest you ask reward

In terms of gold or good hard cash."

So the townsfolk never knew

Just why the great dragon fled - and if they had

Been able to ask him themselves, they'd have found

'Twas because Billy just stank so bad.

Copyright B Purkayastha 2014