This is the ark that Noah built.
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| Image from a site too insane to link to |
This is the god which ordered the
construction of the ark that Noah built.
 |
| god |
This is the Flood that swamped the earth,
at the whim of the god which ordered the construction of the ark that Noah
built.*
 |
| Image taken from another site too batshit insane to link to. |
These are the animals that Noah loaded on
the ark, to save them from the Flood that swamped the earth, at the whim of the
god which ordered the construction of the ark that Noah built.
 |
| Another loonie site. Obviously. |
This is the male termite that came along
with the animals that Noah loaded on the ark, to save them from the Flood that
swamped the earth, at the whim of the god which ordered the construction of the
ark that Noah built.
 |
| [Source] |
This is the queen termite who married the male
termite that came along with the animals that Noah loaded on the ark, to save
them from the Flood that swamped the earth, at the whim of the god which
ordered the construction of the ark that Noah built.
 |
| [Source] |
These are the children of the queen termite
who married the male termite that came along with the animals that Noah loaded
on the ark, to save them from the Flood that swamped the earth, at the whim of
the god which ordered the construction of the ark that Noah built.
 |
| [Source] |
These are the bacteria in the intestines of
the children of the queen termite who married the male termite that came along
with the animals that Noah loaded on the ark, to save them from the Flood that
swamped the earth, at the whim of the god which ordered the construction of the
ark that Noah built.**
 |
| [Source] |
This is the wood eaten to be digested by
the bacteria in the intestines of the children of the queen termite who married
the male termite that came along with the animals that Noah loaded on the ark,
to save them from the Flood that swamped the earth, at the whim of the god
which ordered the construction of the ark that Noah built.
 |
| If you really want to buy it |
These are the holes left by the wood eaten
to be digested by the bacteria in the intestines of the children of the queen
termite who married the male termite that came along with the animals that Noah
loaded on the ark, to save them from the Flood that swamped the earth, at the
whim of the god which ordered the construction of the ark that Noah built.
 |
| Holes in argument |
This is the water let in through the holes
left by the wood eaten to be digested by the bacteria in the intestines of the children
of the queen termite who married the male termite that came along with the
animals that Noah loaded on the ark, to save them from the Flood that swamped
the earth, at the whim of the god which ordered the construction of the ark
that Noah built.
 |
| From a site even more lunatic than the others. Take it from me. |
This is the sinking caused by the water let
in through the holes left by the wood eaten to be digested by the bacteria in
the intestines of the children of the queen termite who married the male
termite that came along with the animals that Noah loaded on the ark, to save
them from the Flood that swamped the earth, at the whim of the god which
ordered the construction of the ark that Noah built.
 |
| [Source] |
This is the wreckage left after the sinking
caused by the water let in through the holes left by the wood eaten to be digested
by the bacteria in the intestines of the children of the queen termite who
married the male termite that came along with the animals that Noah loaded on
the ark, to save them from the Flood that swamped the earth, at the whim of the
god which ordered the construction of the ark that Noah built.
 |
| [Source] |
...and they all lived extinctly ever after. Or, you know, didn't.
[* and incidentally drowned all the innocent non-rescued animals and babies too, not to mention the plants and the aquatic animals which couldn't live in the admixture of fresh and sea water. Ain't it so loving?
** shouldn't there be only two bacteria? I think there should.]
** shouldn't there be only two bacteria? I think there should.]
Well, it started out nice enough. :D
ReplyDeleteAnd, yes, only 2 bacteria.
:))
ReplyDeleteIn good old Aussie parlance: Noah got well and truly "white anted". :)
ReplyDeletehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_anting
It is certainly not the sort of story that people would ever take literally.
ReplyDeleteNot like, say, Grimm's tales. I think I found the actual foundation of Hansel and Gretel's candy witch in a German forest, by the way. When this is confirmed, it will show that these stories are true.
Hooray for the termites and bacterium. As t this doG, what an ass. The holly buy-bull claims that ALL creation was good after this lazy doG put in a whole six days of work. Then, HE "decides" it isn't perfect?
ReplyDeleteWell, to this old heathen, 67 now, that proves this doG is neither all knowing, nor all powerful. Destroyed His own "perfect" creation in a fit of rage? More like a total psychopath. At the very least a sociopath. A mean, nasty, vile critter is this biblical doG. I will never bow down to such a vile thing as this doG. Better to die on my feet than live on my knees.
The holly buy-bull and its doG are fi newtons of the fevered imaginations of illiterate goat herders of the late Bronze Age Middle East who plagiarized the stories of many other, more powerful peoples just to try and make themselves look better that what they ever were.