Saturday, 4 July 2015

Collective Nouns For Today

Remember all the fancy terms nobody uses, like a murder of crows, or a parliament of rooks, or a gaggle of geese? There’s a reason nobody uses those, because they’re ridiculous.

But there are other terms we need, because they’re bloody necessary in this day and age to explain exactly what we’re talking about. In no particular order, here are a few I thought up :

A corruption of politicians
An invasion of imperialists
A regime change of freedoms
A fakery of elections
A ludicrousness of Nobel Peace Prizes

An exaggeration of advertisers
A greed of capitalists
A parasitism of bankers
A pollution of industrialists
A propaganda of media people
A concentration camp of Nazis
An intolerance of Hindunazis

A shamelessness of pastors
A paedophilia of priests
A jihad of Wahhabis
A Maidan of Ukranazis

A kill list of Obamas
A humanitarian intervention of Killarys
A drone of war criminals

A mass extinction of global warming deniers
A drill of oil companies
A deforestation of loggers
A destruction of developers
A Hasbara of Zionist apologists
A genocide of Zionazis

A troll of antiPutinists
A selfishness of Great Indian Muddle Classers
A beheading of Saudis

A bloodthirst of hunters
A tokenism of liberals
A hidebound of conservatives
A hypocrisy of centrists
An ignorance of racists
A Facebook of clicktivists
A military industrial complex of US Empires

A data collection of spies
A persecution of whistleblowers
A colour revolution of activists
An exceptionalism of Amerikastanis

A fascism of tribalists
A tragedy of Iraqis
A fiction of moderate Syrian rebels
A cannibalism of freedom fighters

A starvation of Gazans
A massacre of Yemenis
A comedy of United Nations.

Feel free to add any more you want.

1 comment:

  1. A bloviation of bloggers
    A self-importance of pundits
    An impotence of peacemakers
    A delusion of optimists


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