Monday, 24 December 2018

Oh Santa Had A Baby

Oh Santa had a baby
He called him Jong Un Kim
He sent him to the White House
To teach Trump how to swim

In shark infested waters
Be it fish that may
Bite off your head and fingers
Or just another way

Of saying that your stooges
May stab you in the back
And if you enter politics
Brains you must not lack

The Orange One listened
And frowning badly said
"I have as much use for advice
As the wig on my head

"I'll invade Syria
Put troops in Kabul too
And face off with the Russians
Like bears at the zoo

"And when the chips are down 
We're losing left and right
I'll pull out my soldiers
And say we won the fight

"What if the liberals cavil
My only constituency
Is the one in Tel Aviv
Their money means all to me."

Kim Jong Un listened
Nodding placatingly
As to any ranting madman
And went back across the sea.

"Koreas come together
Build us a great big wall
Against Bibi and the orange utan
In the Bedlam hall."

Oh Santa had a baby
He called him Jong Un Kim
He might have been short and fat
But he had a brain on him.

The Russians Are

The Russians are in your head
The Russians are in your head
The thoughts you have are yours no more
And every day more Russians at the door

The Russians broke though your wall
The Russians broke though your wall
They break the windows, climb the stair
Make you lose your lustrous hair

The Russians are in your bed
The Russians are in your bed
They crush your pillow and mess the sheet
And put cat vomit on your feet

The Russians are in your dreams
The Russians are in your dreams
You see red stars, you try to shriek
And find yourself a mouthless freak

The Russians are in your eyes
The Russians are in your eyes
Bright or dim, light or dark
Everything you see is Russia, hark -

The Russians are in your ears
The Russians are in your ears
You hear them whisper, you hear them shout
And know not what it's all about

The Russians are in your brain
The Russians are in your brain
Your toothbrush and your soap too
Are their agents spying on you.

The Russians are everywhere
The Russians sit in your chair
Luckily there's something to set you free
The media that promotes democracy!

The Russians steal your air
The Russians crawl through your hair
But don't worry, put on TV
And cheer on, cheer on World War Three!

Tuesday, 18 December 2018

Urgent! Stop Putin Before It's Too Late!

Ladies and gentlemen, these are perilous times!

As you know, the evil half naked tyrant of Russia, Vladimir Putin, is determined to conquer and enslave the entire planet, and to that end, has weaponised everything from elections to cartoons to laughter!

Not satisfied with this, the vile Russian dictator has linked up with the most evil and unscrupulous despots in the world today, like the unspeakable Assad of Syria, who spends his spare time gassing his own people with sarin for fun, or the just as evil Maduro of Venezuela, who tries to behave as though the oil reserves of his country belong to its people, and not by birthright to American Wall Street corporations!

But wait - I'm not even scratching the surface of the vileness of the Putin regime's crimes!

Just a few days ago, the mass murdering tyrant sent four long range planes, including two supersonic Tupolev 160 heavy bombers, to Venezuela in a show of support for the Maduro regime, which spends its time starving its own people for fun, just like the Assad regime gases its own people with barrel bombs full of sarin.

This was done in a blaze of publicity, because, of course, the evil Putin regime wants to distract the attention of its own people from the fact that they are all freezing or starving or being tyrannised to death!

Of course, that was not the only reason, as you can well imagine.

One of the excuses given by Putin apologists for the Russian deployment of the bombers to the Venezuela regime is the absurd claim that the only purpose of the visit was to serve as a deterrent to an American "invasion" of that country. As though America ever "invades" anyone instead of just engaging in wars of liberation where it drops humanitarian bombs which bring people freedom from the cares and toil of life. And as though taking oil that is America's by birthright would be illegal in any way! I ask you!

Now, and interestingly enough, these aeroplanes were swiftly withdrawn back to Russia after only a couple of days, instead of permanently occupying the Venezuelan airport like any red blooded NATO air force would have.

The absurd narrative of the Putin apologists is that Russia was making the point that in case of a planned or attempted "invasion" (that is, a freedom-loving American liberation) of Venezuela, the bombers, and others like them, could be back within hours, and this time to stay.

Wrong! Their purpose was far more evil and sinister than that!

Here, for the first time, we can reveal the actual plan of the Putinite KGB Communist regime against the freedom-loving people of the West!

As exposed by a defector by the name of Pladimir Vutin, who is obviously the exact opposite of the Russian tyrant in every way, and who sneaked out of the back door of the Russian embassy in London, this is what really happened!

A few weeks ago, a Russian expedition in the forests of Venezuela, comprised of GRU spies pretending to be "zoologists" and "botanists", encountered a living female Tyrannosaurus rex in a cave. This dinosaur had somehow survived the 65 million years since the extinction of its species, and was even larger and more fearsome than anyone can imagine. With great difficulty they captured the beast, after it had only eaten three or four of the team, and brought it back to their secret base in Caracas,  the so called capital of the country, and informed their overlords in Moscow.

You can, I am sure, imagine for yourself what happened next. The vile Putin regime already weaponises anything and everything, and at once saw an opportunity. It sent the bombers to Venezuela on the excuse of a deterrent exercise, but that was only a camouflage for the real purpose.

That purpose? To bring back the captured Tyrannosaurus to Russia in one of the returning Tu 160 bombers, in order to clone the beast and make eggs from it. Many, many eggs.

And what would be done with those eggs, you ask? Isn't that obvious? Those eggs are to be seeded in Western cities, to hatch into more Tyrannosaurs, which will then eat freedom-loving Western civilians left, right, and centre, MAGA hats, rainbow flags and all, until there is nobody left!

Here is undeniable evidence: a photograph provided by Pladimir Vutin, showing the dinosaur being transported from Moscow airport to the secret Putinite regime biological warfare base outside the capital!

Only Putin regime bots and trolls will say this is a fake.

It is essential that we all ask our regimes to start WWIII at once! Russia must be destroyed before it is too late!