Saturday, 19 March 2016

Predator Drone Massacre (Cocktail)

Predator Drone Massacre (Cocktail)
From Brickipedia, the Down to Earth Encyclopaedia

The Predator Drone Massacre is a cocktail that has several variations.

Contents [hide
·         1. General Types
·         2. History
·         3. Preparation
·         4. External Links

[Image Source]

General Types [edit]

There are three general types of the cocktail:

The first type, known as the Peace Prizident, is composed of Predator Drone, Hellfire Missile, and Kill List along with other ingredients. This is the official Liberal Freedom Lovers’ Cocktail.

The second type, called the Killary Kultur, comprises Predator Drone, Hellfire Missile, and Feminist Rhetoric. This is slated to take over as the official cocktail as of January 2017.

The third type, known as the Burnie Bitters, is made from Predator Drone, Hellfire Missile, and Democratic Socialism. It is not particularly popular in official circles, despite being claimed [by whom?] to have widespread unofficial mass support, and is likely to fade away in the course of the coming months.

History [edit]

While the Predator Drone Cocktail was invented in the early 2000s, its mass popularity can be dated firmly to the accession of Barack Hussein Obama to the status of official Warmonger in Chief in Warshington in January 2008. When he celebrated his Nobel Peace Prize by toasting the peoples of Afghanistan, Pakistan and Yemen with the cocktail, it became not just extremely well known but celebrated all over the Empire. At that time it was composed of just Predator Drone and Hellfire Missile. Soon enough, it was being drunk in large amounts all over Central-South Asia, West Asia, and East Africa, from Somalia to Yemen, Iraq to Pakistan and Afghanistan, and even in Amerikastan, although at the time drinking it there was a secret activity, publicly denied. It was officially admitted only in 2016 that it had been drunk in the Homeland for many years.

By 2012, however, with the addition of the newly acknowledged ingredient Kill List, the cocktail became famous, and advertised over the media. At that point it was officially adopted as the Liberal Freedom Lovers’ Cocktail, though it had already unofficially held that status since 2008. Obama himself announced that he had made a practice of ritually drinking it every Tuesday morning in his office.

By this time the basic cocktail had been further enhanced with ingredients including double tap strikes, mangled childrenwedding droning, and funeral droning. In at least 90%[2] of the drinks served today, war crimes are a compulsory ingredient, without which the cocktail is not considered properly prepared.

It is surmised that the popularity of the cocktail will continue to grow as long as a Liberal Warmonger holds the post of Drinkmaster/mistress in Warshington.[citation needed]

Preparation [edit]

Predator Drone Massacres are usually prepared in an Air Conditioned Bunker, normally sited On The Other Side Of The Planet, where specially trained Heroic Playstation Warriors mix the ingredients together in Bugsplat glasses. [1]

First, a Kill List is poured into the Bugsplat glass until enough of it has accumulated at the bottom to form a Target. At first, it was considered essential that this Target had to assume a particular shape or form. But today, it is generally accepted that any shape will do as long as it is brown in colour and the requirement that it be aged enough to be military is normally ignored.

Then, a Predator Drone is carefully applied to the sides of the glass, all around the target, until it is fully covered. At this point, a Hellfire is dropped into the mix from enough of a height above the Bugsplat glass to disrupt and shatter the Target. The Heroic Playstation Warrior will then typically wait and watch to see if more brown Targets accumulate around the broken Target, in which case a second Hellfire will be used to disrupt them. The more Targets are disrupted, the better the cocktail is considered to be.

The cocktail is typically drunk soaked in blood, in one gulp, along with a side dish of Heaped Propaganda. Toxicity has been reported, but not confirmed, if Heaped Propaganda is not consumed in large quantities with the drink. Symptoms of this toxicity have been claimed to include critical thinking and anti-liberal impulses. Both of these are considered to be prime markers of Acute Terrorism Syndrome, which is fatally contagious unless the sufferer is quickly eliminated.

Note: Further experimentation to add black, yellow or white Targets to the brown has been discussed, but as far as is known until now only brown and occasionally black Targets have been used, since this is considered by the Liberal Code of Honour to be essential as a step against racism.

“Black and brown are colours that are typically ignored and persecuted by Warmongers of the past,” the Liberal Freedom Lovers’ Association declared in a statement. “It’s immensely gratifying that these are the colours chosen by our Honoured Warmonger in Chief, Barack Obama, for his cocktail. We should all applaud it.”

A Nobel Prize For Mixology has been proposed  to be awarded to the best Heroic Playstation Warrior every year. The first award, of course, will be given to Obama himself. 

External Links [edit]


  1. I'll stick with my pan galactic gargle blaster! :-)



  3. War is so much more palatable when you have the right cocktail.

  4. The US did a study. Some have claimed that Americans are targets of terrorists because the drone strikes have killed the terrorists' families. Fortunately, the US has irrefutably proved that is a myth: the neighbours of those killed by drones all say that are very grateful to the US for removing the terrorists who had been terrorising them, and the family members of the terrorists are grateful to the US for ridding their families of the evil terrorists in those families.

    And I know the US can never tell a lie. I was taught in kindergarten about George Washington and the cherry tree, and he established that all US presidents always tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, because the definition of 'truth' is whatever the US president or his subordinates says.



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