Sunday 18 February 2018

Two Prayers

I.

Our Elder in R'lyeh
Cthulhu is thy name
Thy kingdom will come
When the stars are right
Thy dream will end
Thou shalt rise again
And give us our just desserts
Make everyone's head spin
As thou movest to madden us
Do not turn us into fish people
But eat us up right away
Amen.


I I.

The lice in Buddha's hair
The fleas in Jesus' clothes
The worms in Muhammad's intestines
God Almighty knows
All died as ignorant
Of their holy host
As the mites on your eyelashes
The fungi on your toes -
And all they got out of life
Was a meal at most,
So we join in prayer
For their souls immortal too
For they deserve a place in heaven
Just as much as you.
Bless the creepies and the crawlies
The beasties than on you do dwell
For if there is an afterlife
They'll ride you down to hell.



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