Oh, hey, you know, I’ve been remiss in keeping you up with the doings of the Hindunazis now ruling over us by virtue of the 31% of the vote they got last year. Sorry about that. I shall now attempt to correct that mistake.
Well, believe it or not, I have only good things to say about the Hindunazis this time. Yes, that’s right. Only good things. No, I have not gone crazy – I’ve just realised how concerned our rulers are for our welfare, and how obsessively they work to ensure we stay healthy, happy, employed, and with unstained morals.
Yes, I admit that they kept their promises. They promised us “acche din” (good days) – and the good days are here.
So let’s see all that they’ve done for us.
1. They’re super-concerned about our health. That’s why they set up a Ministry of Yoga, Homeopathy, Ayurveda and other “naturalistic” health “sciences”, with a minister and staff paid by taxpayer money, which further utilised said taxpayer money in blitzing us with text messages telling us to perform yoga on something called the World Yoga Day. Because that’s what we needed, a ministry of homeopathy, while actual medicines become unaffordable, because homeopathy totally works, right? Also, because one day of choreographed yoga made us all healthy and fit and happy forevermore. And of course it’s not as though said taxpayer money could be used elsewhere, is it?
That evil Russian dictator, Putin, even had the temerity to laugh openly about the idea of having a ministry of yoga. Eh, who cares about him, as long as Obama didn’t laugh, at least where the Hindunazis could see him.
2. They’re fixing to fix up our morals. India is a horrible mess of evil morality just waiting for a corrective touch. As you know, our people will be utterly corrupted by the sight of an exposed nipple or a bared vulva. No government, with any kind of conscience, can possibly permit this. Therefore, the Hindunazis banned over 850 porn (and “porn”) websites. Naturally, once they did this, rape and domestic violence and child marriage would all magically disappear, along with the population problem.
After all, it’s not as though most Indians aren’t on the web, and it’s not as if porn DVDs and magazines are readily available under the counter at corner shops. Nor do proxy servers or photo sharing sites like Tumblr, which cater to every fetish, actually exist. And India isn’t the home of the Kama Sutra and erotic temple architecture like Khajuraho either.
|This definitely does not exist [Source]|
Following an outcry, the majority of which was probably from their own supporters – Hindunazi voters have a much larger presence on the net than the rest of the populace, as anyone can find out by wading through the sludge of any Indian news site comment forum – the government then decided to walk this ban back, declaring that only child porn sites would be banned. Now, as far as I’m aware, no site has a big banner under its name saying CHILD PORN HERE. What is to be done?
There is only one answer. The poor Hindunazis, being such dedicated public servants, are going to have to go through every porn site out there, looking at all those naked tits and bits, to make sure none of it is child porn.
Can you imagine what they go through to keep our morals up to scratch?!?
3. They don’t want people to starve to death. Said people are stockbrokers and corporate CEOs, who, as everyone knows, are always on the knife edge of starvation. Since obviously these poor things must be helped, their interests – in the form of corporate profits – must be protected at all costs. Therefore, all barriers to this profit making, silly things like environmental laws, for example – are being swept aside. As we all know, environmentalists are traitors whose only purpose is to keep India down.
More on traitors in a moment.
Who, in any case, gives a damn that runaway global warming is here, in action even as we speak, and India will – owing to its geographical position – be one of the worst affected places on the planet? As a Hindunazi informed me years ago on Orkut, global warming is no threat at all, Muslim terrorism is.
4. They’re very, very eager to save us from terrorists and traitors. This is why they signed a peace pact with the National Socialist Council of Nagaland (Isak Muivah), a narcoterrorist mafia group which builds revenues from extortion and drug running, which has a heavily armed and uniformed army of over 5000 with a base called Camp Hebron right in a major Indian city, Dimapur. Now that they have a peace pact with the government, they can carry on with whatever they’re doing, but they’re no longer terrorists, are they? In fact they can be recruited to help the Hindunazis win elections at gunpoint in the states in which they’re active.
|Totally no longer terrorist NSCN (IM) men at Camp Hebron [Source]|
Meanwhile, a man named Yakub Memon, whose brother Tiger happens to be a wanted mafia baron and terrorist, returned voluntarily to India to clear his own name and help in investigations of his brother’s crimes – whereupon he was arrested, tried, condemned and hanged, and an online troll army unleashed to shout down dissidents and everyone else disturbed at this flagrant miscarriage of justice. But of course he was a Muslim so he deserved it.
More on that troll army in a moment.
So eager are the Hindunazis to save us from terrorists and traitors, in fact, that they’re creating the precise conditions that would give, for example, the Islamic State a golden opportunity to make inroads into the country. This is a major anti-terrorist step, of course, because as we’ve seen elsewhere, the first thing ISIS does is annihilate all competing terrorist factions.
Just see how very concerned the Hindunazis are to save us from terrorists! Who else could have thought of such a brilliant move?
5. They’re very concerned about unemployment. In fact, they’re so concerned about unemployment that they’ve taken a leaf out of the playbook of the Zionazis they so admire, who have their online troll force, the Hasbara. They’ve recruited a similar online army of trolls, the Hindusbara (as I’ve just named them, while writing this very piece), who work busily at blitzing dissenting blogs, comment fora, and posts on sites like Google Plus with Hindunazi wisdom, and shouting down and attempting to bully all contrary opinion into silence. I should know; I delete a minimum of five to eight abusive comments awaiting moderation on this blog every week, and I’m not even a high value Hindunazi target.
They're quite right: who needs traitors who don't believe India is the greatest thing in the history of the universe and invented everything from the wheel to plastic surgery to genetic engineering to intergalactic flight anyway?
Now the Hindusbara is only an online troll army, but there are plenty of real life Hindunazi armies, too, with names like the Shri Ram Sene, the Bajrang Dal and the Durga Vahini, who are ready and prepared to take more physical action against traitorous dissidents and liberals too – alongside such horrible anti-cultural things like unmarried boys and girls going out together.
We really need to thank the Hindunazis for making such a deep dent in the unemployment problem.
6. They’re determined to save the nation from the grip of bureaucrats determined to stifle all endeavour. Remember Sir Humphrey Appleby from Yes Minister, who repeatedly stymied all his superior’s initiatives? Well, our Hindunazis are determined not to let that happen. They won’t let bureaucrats and other officials who stick to piddling little rules block their grand vision. After all, they were voted into power by the people, well, 31% of the voting section of the people, right? So whatever they do is justified by the fact that those people voted for them, isn’t that so? So they’re perfectly justified in removing these pettifogging nitpickers and replacing them with compliant puppets – or, where that isn’t possible, by taking away the independent powers that allow these snivelling little blockers to play spoilsport.
I’m sure that you can totally appreciate their dedication to the nation when they do all this. They’re only thinking of our future.
7. Knowing how wasteful discussion and rule by consensus is, they’ve ditched all that for rule by Führerprinzip. To this end, Prime Minister Narendrabhai Modi has eliminated or sidelined all in-party opposition to himself, and rules by fiat through a tiny core group of intimates, who are themselves above the law and whose own corruption and misdemeanours are safe from investigation and punishment. Democracy is such a handicap in affairs of state, isn’t it?
And it’s a winning formula, of course; the Hindunazis’ Congress Party predecessors also similarly crushed in-party democracy, ruled via coterie, and ignored corruption – and they ruled India for almost sixty years. Are you going to quarrel with success or something?
8. Also, they, uh... Sorry, can’t think of anything more at the moment, but there must be some more achievements out there. After all, as a libtard (this is a word the Hindusbara has now adopted, replacing its earlier favourite, “sickular”) I can barely be expected to appreciate the glory of their new Golden Age, can I?
No matter. The Good Days are here.
Everyone should immediately pledge to vote for them again.