Abort! Abort! Abort! Or, why the "pro-lifers" are wrong

Good morning, all you good, moral anti-abortionist “pro-life” people. How are you today? Fuming? 

I've got some good news for you. Just sit down and listen. No, don't hit me over the head yet – there's plenty of time for that. For the moment, just listen.

You ought to realise something – you’re on the wrong track. You should actually be promoting abortion, and screaming its virtues to the skies. It’s in your own best interests, nobody else’s.

What's that? You want to know why? I'll tell you why.

First, I appreciate that you don’t exactly like people like me; you know, left-wing libtards and atheistic scum who hate your freedoms, support terrorists and promote abortion (I’d happily call it unborn-child-murder if you want but that’s kind of unwieldy to write each time, so I’ll call it “abortion” and you can read it as whatever you want. Deal?).

OK, now, you know that argument you have against us pro-abortion scum, the one which would have been infallible if we hadn't simply laughed at it: "What if your parents had aborted you?" Well, say it again, out loud: "What if your parents, you pinko Islamofascist libtard, had aborted you? What if your parents had aborted all of you?"

Well, then, we wouldn’t be here trying to stop you from enjoying your freedoms – would we now?

See here, as you’re well aware, nobody is actually forcing abortions on your wives and daughters, right? You aren’t at risk in any way. So let us pinko libtards abort our future generations all we want. If those kids get born, they’re – seeing who their parents are – going to grow up to be another lot of libtard pinkos, right, another lot of lazy welfare cheats, peaceniks and suchlike vermin? And the fewer of them there are, the better for you, isn’t it?

And it gets even better for those of you who say abortion is a religious, not a merely moral, sin – the more abortion there is, the better for you. You’ll all go righteously to heaven while the rest of us, the insufficiently religious or atheist libtards, the abortionists and their clients, will all roast in hell. Can you imagine how awesome it will feel for you, sitting on a cloud (or pleasuring virgins) while we burn in eternal hellfire? You won't have to share the hereafter with us. See how good it can get?

There you are. Quod Erat Demonstrandum. Game, set and match. You win, we lose.

So let a thousand abortion clinics bloom.

Courtesy Doonesbury.Click on the image to enlarge